So unlike the rest of the world, i just started watched american idol. and by just started i mean, i watched it for the first time on beatles week (the second one) because i was bored and then decided that even though the judges can be really annoying slash obnoxious slash delirious (that's you, paula) and half of the contestants can't sing, i really don't have anything better to do on tuesday nights.

so when they announced it was inspirational songs week, i groaned. for like five minutes. because really? a.i. is all about "inspirational songs" and i just knew that the contestants were going to pick the worst, sappiest songs out there. and they did.
first up was micheal johns, who is one of my favorites (it's all about the accent, baby). he sang some song by aerosmith that i recognized from the rockin' rollar coaster in disney world. (it's an aerosmith ride and it's like the only fun ride at the mgm park. seriously, i thought i was going to puke after the tower of terror. or faint. which i didn't. but ok.) randy thought it was ok (the word "pitchy" was mentioned quite a bit. really randy? you couldn't have found a better trademark word?), paula "my boobs are about to fly out of my dress" abdul loved it (no one saw that one coming...), and simon was like "eh."
then syesha sang "i believe." now i haven't seen syehsa perform before (this is the first week i've seen an entire episode), but i liked her. i know the judges weren't as crazy about it (except for paula, but she doesn't count) because some other idol contestant sang it before, and apparently it was way better, but whatever. probably not the smartest choice to keep singing songs other people are famous for, but i like syesha. she can actually sing, unlike the rest of the girls on this show.
ok on to jason castro. never seen him before either, but i was super cised to hear he was singing the israel kamakwaiwo'loe version of "over the rainbow." because while there are a ton of stupid, gag-inducing inspirational songs out there, this one is actually really good. gah i hate that word. inspirational. it's so... american idol-y... but anyways, love the song, love the version (eva cassidy's version is also amazing), but i thought the performance was so-so. now it really fitted his hippy-dippy image, but i don't know, he just wasn't that great. but the judges loved him. figures.
so anyways, kristy lee cook is next. and she's boring. that's really all i have to say about her. too bad she didn't get discovered 10 years ago, she would have been perfect for disney channel. judges love her. seriously guys? she can't sing. whatever, she's so boring that i will waste no more space on her.
now david cook. normally, he's one of my favs, but after the first few seconds of the song, i was like why david cook? because the song sucked. and he kind of sucked. and he tried to be all sensitive and wrote "give back" on his hand to show to the cameras at the end of the song. which was nice, but for some reason kind of annoying. i bet all the other contestants wish they had thought of that, though. no love for david cook this week, guys... (except for paula. but SHE DOESN'T COUNT)
carly sings some queen song and looks really angry. and omg, even paula criticizes her a bit. but then she tells her that she loves her voice. oh well, she's making progress...
david archuletta. everyone knows he's going to win. the rest of the contestants are just trying to sing well enough to get recognized and get record deals. (or second record deals, in carly's case.) anyways, i like him. it is largely due to the fact that the first time i saw him sing, he did "the long and winding road" and it kicked ass. sorry, that language is inappropriate for talking about david archuletta. he would probably say that it kicked butt. i thought he was going to be really good this week, since inspriational songs are like his calling, but he was just ok. i spaced out during his performance, which is never a good thing. the judges were in full on worship-mode, though. i have noticed that whenever my dad and i (yes, i watch american idol with my dad) think the judges are about to tear a contestant apart, they end up worshiping him/her.
last up is brooke aka little miss sunshine. now let's get one thing clear: i do not like this girl. she is annoying, her voice is grating (see this week's performance of "you've got a friend"), and she has the fashion sense of a five year old. the first time i heard her sing, she destroyed "here comes the sun" while awkwardly dancing and wearing a bright yellow dress that looked like a lampshade. actually, three lampshades stacked on top of each other. she's just SO ANNOYING. and she does that interrupt-and-explain thing when the judges are criticizing her. this week, she was crying while singing "you've got a friend." i was like "gag." randy and simon both basically said that it was not terrible. can you guess what paula thought?
and here's ryan giving yet another plug for "idol gives back," the celeb-drenched charity fundraiser slash fox marketing strategy that's on tonight. i think ryan is secretly evil (see "ryan and tyra are trying to take over the world." well, as soon as i write it.)
oh, i forgot! my favorite moment of the night was when they got back from commercials and there's some dude SITTING IN SIMON'S LAP. turns out he's a fox exec and he "hired us all." (that's ryan i'm quoting). randy tries for the fist bump and gets denied like 10 times. HAHA RANDY. you officially made my list of people to laugh at. (actually he made the list earlier in the night when he uttered the phrase "just tying to keep it real" without a hint of irony.)

and that's it. i'm going to try and make them a little bit shorter from now on (although i will continue to rant about little miss sunshine) because i really don't know if anyone (that would be my one reader) will want to read long recaps like this every day.

oh and p.s. you have to watch every week for carly's husband, who has tattoos all over his face. they have to show him, because of the whole "family and friends" thing, but he's never well-lit and it's always for like 3 seconds. ha.

p.p.s there were lots of "bones" promos. YESSSSSSS

3 comments:

Tough Chicken Lips said...

Hey! This is great! I totally agree with you on all points except I thought David Cook was really good and the Give Back was sooooooooooooo cute! P.P.S. I LOVE BONES they're flipping around the episodes like they're showing a rerun but with new stuff and omg its gonna be wonderful

Nicole said...

MADDY
I love your blog it rocks my world

Lauren said...

Ugh it deleted my comment, but anyways, I don't think I saw this week... I'll read through and comment on the ones that I do read though!! Hey and you should check out some of their songs on iTunes. They can be good.

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