And She's Gone: Kristy Lee Cook Is Finally Kicked Off Idol

Results shows are normally pretty boring. I mean, not the part where someone gets kicked off, but the first 55 minutes or so usually kind of suck. Last night, however, was the "groups" night, where six of the seven contestants are split into groups, the seventh is declared safe and then is asked to pick the group they think they belong in. So the show was a little bit more interesting than usual. Now don't get me wrong, the music video, the phone-in questions, Mariah, and Elliott Yamin were still pretty dull. So i'm skipping all of those parts, except to say that Mariah: why are you orange? And why is your dress cut all weirdly? Oh, and Elliott: nice talliet. Reppin' the Jews, that's where it's at. (Speaking of talliet, I haven't worn mine since my Bat Mitzvah. But I'm a bad Jew.) P.S. At first I thought the "We miss you Mom" on his hand was corny, and a David Cook rip-off. But then he said that his Mom died a few days ago, and I was like oh, I take that back. I'm sorry man, do whatever you want. In the music video they were all pale and dressed as marionettes until the Fords came. Because that makes sense.

But back to the screwy elimination. Over the course of the show, the contestants were put into groups. They were: David Cook, Kristy Lee Cook, and Brooke White and Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado, and Carly Smithson. At first I was like what? Because I knew that all of the boys had to be safe. But then at the end of the show, Ryan "Ken-doll" Secreast was like, "There are too many Cooks in the kitchen," (wonder how many times he practiced that in the mirror to get the timing right) and asked David C. and Syesha to switch places. Oh, so that's how it's going down. Carly's like, oh sweet, I'm safe.
David Archuleta is summoned on stage. Ever notice that he looks like a character from Sesamee Street? I swear, if Elmo and Grover pro-created, David Archuleta would be the result. It's just something with the eyebrows. And the hair. So anyways, David is pronounced safe and now has to choose which group to join. David... sits down. Right in the middle of the stage. Come on, David, this is so not that hard. You can even be really nice about it but still pick the group with the peple that an actually sing. Ryan tells David he has to pick, and then lames out and tells him that David C., Carly, Jason are safe. Really Ryan? After being so mean to Micheal Johns last week, you're not going to push wittle Archie to make a decision? Seriously, he's 17. I know he has the soul of a nine-year-old girl, but he's a big boy. But Ryan, not wanting to upset all of Archie's fans, let alone incur the wrath of Scary Stage Dad, lets David stay in diapers. Ryan now requests that he join the safe group. David still sits there. Finally, Ryan gives up and asks the safe group to join David. Which they do, on the floor (minus Carly, who stays standing). They stay like that awkwardly for 5 seconds and then Ryan's like enough with this crap, let's get to the eliminations.

First safe is Syesha. Dang. That girl needs to go home already. So it's down to Kristy Lee and Brooke, who manages to remind me why I hate her again. Everyone knows Kristy Lee is going home, but Brooke gets really mad when Simon says it. Kristy Lee accept it, saying, it's ok, I'm fine, I understand, but Brooke keeps on going with her tirade saying that you don't know what will happen. Ryan's like, shut up, Brooke and let me get through this already. It's been a long night for Ryan, what with the protests and Brooke and all. And... Kristy Lee's gone. She and Brooke hug, and Brooke cries more than she does. Kristy Lee does a much better job during the sing out than she did on Tuesday. Brooke keeps crying. Kristy Lee's like, stop ruining my moment, bitch.


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