Last night was Mariah Carey night, and now would be a very good time for a confession: I don't actually like Mariah Carey. It's not that I hate her, I'm just... I don't know, not a fan. She seemed nice enough though, and when she was "mentoring" she gave some actual advice, unlike all the other "mentors."

First up is David Archuleta. Another confession: I'm kind of over him. He sounds the same every week, which might be ok (I mean, he has a nice voice) except for the fact that he picks really over-the-top, uber-annoying, power ballad-y songs. I still think he's going to win, though, because all of the grandmas out there think he's adorable and all of the girls my age (stupid girls...) have a crush on him. This week he's singing "When You Believe" and the judges are generally positive. I was kind of bored, but that's me. Start singing good songs and I might like you again, Archie...

Carly is next, singing "I Can't Live" and she's actually not bad this week. Ok, so I actually didn't pay that much attention to the performance- I was just so happy to see that she finally, finally wore something that looked good. Remember a few weeks ago when Simon criticized her clothing and then on the results show said she looked good? Well, she didn't. But this week she did. She covered up her giant tattoo and wore a pretty dress and I was like Yay Carly. The judges didn't really say anything significant on this one- Randy thought it was alright, Paula liked it, Simon didn't. Classic judges. Although if I hear Randy say, "Check it out, dawg," one more time, I just might pull a Jan and throw a Dundie at my tv.

Syesha was ok. Really, she hasn't changed at all, so she's pretty boring to write about. She sang "Vanishing." An omen for tonight, perhaps? Judges: Randy likes it, Paula loves it, Simon doesn't. Personally, I think Simon just hates Syesha. Come on Simon, transfer some of that hate to Brooke!

Speaking of the gag-inducing ray of sunshine that is Brooke, she sang "Hero," an utterly cornball of a song with a performance to match. I actually think she was the worst of the night, and I'm not just saying that because I dislike Brooke. It just sounded bad. A few bad hamburger metaphors later, and the judges have reached the conclusion that something was missing. Except for Paula. She thinks that Brooke and Ryan look good together up onstage... ok... you know Barbie is married, right? And Ryan might be gay. Oh, and speaking of marriage (I totally did that on purpose), Barbie had to miss her sister's wedding on Saturday for the stupid mentoring thing. As much as I want Barbie off the show and out of my life forever, I have to say, that sucks. They wouldn't let her go to her sister's wedding? Way harsh, show.

Ok Kristy Lee Cook, I have to admit it, I don't hate you. You are beyond boring, but I feel sorry when the judges say mean things about you. Although you totally deserve it. You were dull again tonight, singing "Forever," and I completely agree with Simon that it was whiny. I hate hate hate when singers who obviously can't sing do the whiny-whisper-y thing (I'm talking about you, Ashlee Simpson). I really hope they put KLC out of her misery soon- she knows she can't win and every week she seems to be hanging on for dear life. But still, I can't bring myself to hate her.

And, turning in by far the best performance of the night, David Cook. But before I go crazy with praise, I have to say it, dude, get another haircut. Please? Ok, let the worshiping begin. I knew when i heard him sing in those annoying video packages with Mariah "coincidentally has an album coming out today" Carey that he was going to be good this week. And he was. Which is funny, because Mariah's songs are most definitely girl songs, but the guys totally rocked them and the girls, well, didn't. He sang "Always Be My Baby" and it was rock-y and strong and awesome and I actually wanted to hear it again (which like, never happens when I'm watching American Idol). The judges loved it. Simon said, "It was like coming out of karaoke hell,"- and the audience boo-ed him there because they're stupid and didn't get that Simon was about to say something really good. idiots. -"and into a breath of fresh air." Which, yes. Totally yes. Congrats, David Cook, you're my new fave. Me along with half the country. Wouldn't it be awesome if he actually won? It's totally going to be the 2 Davids in the final 2. Jason Castro will be third, and no one will care about the girls because they're not going to get record deals and no one will ever hear from them again.

Speaking of that dread-locked, totally belongs in a coffee shop instead of on a monstrous stage, all around girl charmer with those baby-blues, Jason Castro sang, "I Don't Wanna Cry" to close the show. It was good, and if he wasn't proceeded by the rockin' David Cook, he would have gotten even more props. Randy, however, didn't like it, but Paula and Simon did. Man, I like Jason. I like his style. He and David (Cook, not Archuleta) are both musicians that I would listen to in real life. Keep it up boys!

It's going to be all girls in the bottom three tonight- I predict Syesha goes home. One last thing that I have to mention- Ryan and his poster-ripping. Coming back from commercial one time, there's a shot of a fan holding up a "Simon for President" poster. Simon tells the fan to hold it up higher. Ryan sees the poster, jumps off the stage, runs up the aisle, grabs it, rips it in half and runs away. Ryan, you know there are medications you can take, right?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

very kicky review!

Lauren said...

You have a dundie? Hehe, yes Davi Cook needs to record a freaking album...

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