Cook Over Archuleta!

David Cook won! And the entire two-hour finale is basically an infomercial for "The Love Guru," Ford, Guitar Hero, and various bands that have tours coming up. Don't ya just love this show? Ick.

I actually only started watching from the point where David A. was singing with One Republic and have seen a couple of other clips on youtube because I thought about it, and there was just no way I was going to sit through the entire thing. That was a run-on sentence. This is a run-on show. Which reminds me, as long as David A. has someone else writing and arranging all of his songs for him, he could have a decent career. Despite a disturbing lack of personality, the kid's got pipes.

Jordin was up after Wittle Archie and One Republic, in what looked like a plastic princess dress little girls wear playing dress-up. The dress was terribly unflattering and she was dancing like our favorite nanny. Oh man I am so happy that I missed Brooke's performance. Then Carrie Underwood sang some song about sleeping with a guy whose last name she doesn't know (?) and her mom would be so ashamed. I wasn't really concentrating on the song so much as the trench-coat mini dress with a weird-sleeve-connector-thingy around the back that she was wearing. Oh and Randy looked like a circus-master in his red suit. And David Cook was wearing a butt-load of eye-liner that started to smudge when he cried. I don't get it-- don't these people have stylists?

And then George Micheal (Bluth. No, I wish.) sang some whimpy-ass David Archuleta-style ballad. I am fairly confident that this is what David A. is going to be like in 40 years.

After more nonsense and more top 12 performances, Ryan finally gets around to announcing the new American Idol. But before he does, Simon back-tracks for like ten minutes and basically tells David Cook that he wasn't as bad as he said he was and it's close and anybody's game and oh Simon you are so full of crap. Apologizing for being "disrespectful"? Someone must have taken a look at dial idol, huh? And then, and we all know this is coming (well all of us that looked at dial idol and saw that the results weren't even close), David Cook is crowned the next American Idol. He cries, but Archuleta doesn't. And Archuleta's dad doesn't do anything crazy. Dammit. I guess Archuleta's dad is saving it for the ride home. What I would give to be a fly on the wall during that car ride...

My theory on the Cook win and gigantic gap in votes (12 million) was that David Cook has been building a fan base for a while now, and Archuleta has been losing fans. So when Simon declared Tuesday night a "knockout" for Archie, Cook fans got really worried and voted a lot. A lot a lot a lot. And that's how the Cookie Monster won. Yay.

I know I've been slacking on the Idol reports the past few days, but I'm sick of this show, and no one reads these things anyway. I'm not bitter, just justifying being lazy.

Tonight is the premier of "So You Think You Can Dance." I will be watching. Also, Lindsay Lohan's on "Ugly Betty." (ABC at 8)

P.S. I just saw the Carly/Micheal performance on youtube. That was awesome! They should have been the final two. If you haven't seen it, search "The Letter." Frikin amazing.
P.P.S. And watch "Summer of '69." But it dies when the final two Davids come out. Before that, though, awesome! And I hope Micheal and Carly form a duo and release a bunch of CDs. Man, I should have just watched the whole show.

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