No Way Syesha Stays: It's Going to Be the Two Davids in the Finale

Last night was the judges and producers (and contestants) choice night. As per usual, David Cook was the best, David Archuletta was the same (except when he did Chris Brown. That was very different... and by different I mean horrible), and Syesha was trying really hard (but not exactly succeeding) to have a personality. She even waddled back and forth like a penguin at one point. I am not kidding.

So let's get to it.

Round One: Judge's Choice
David A: Paula picked a boring Billy Joel song and he sang it pleasantly enough but it was really really boring blah blah blah I am so over you, David Archuletta.
Syesha: Randy picked an Alicia Keys song. It was good, but once again she just acted like the original artist singing the song and didn't actually act like Syesha. Not that I really blame her: Real Syesha does not seem to have a discernible personality of her own.
David C: Simon picked a great song (at least, according to my dad) called "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face." I liked it, and it was certainly his best performance in a while, although "Alway Be My Baby" still ranks number one on my list of David Cook favorites.

Round One goes to David Cook, partially because he was awesome, and partially because the other two were a bit underwhelming.

Round Two: Contestant's Choice
David A: Sang "With You" by Chris Brown. Wow. That was painful to watch. Not only because hearing Wittle Archie sing lyrics like "My boo..." and "Hey little mama" seems to go against the laws of nature, but because he kept hesitating and forgetting the words and missing beats and swinging his hips back and forth. Can you say aw-kward? Simon got it right when he basically said, congrats on not singing a whiny-ass ballad, but you probably should have, because this was just a disaster. I believe the phrase "like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger" was used. Also, didja hear? David's Scary Stage Dad (D.S.S.D.) was banned from backstage, rehearsals, etc. Apparently he's been pissing people off for a while now, but the final straw was when he insisted David sing a line from "Beautiful Girls" in his rendition of "Stand By Me" last week. Producers said no, we haven't cleared the song, but David sang it anyway and t cost them a lot of money. But they're not punishing David, they're punishing D.S.S.D. because obviously if David had not followed his dad's orders, he would have been beaten. Anyhoo. Drama, drama, drama.
Syesha: sang "Fever." Which is a great song, if you can pull it off. Syesha... didn't. She used a chair as a prop, and did some weird dancing (at least it was better than Wittle Archie's awkward hip-swaying). The judges (and I) thought it was a mistake and that's she'll probably go home tonight. She looked great, though. Where does she keep getting these pretty dresses???
David C: Sang "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot. Yay, I like this song. It was a good performance, except, like last week's "Baba O'Riley," just as it was about to approach awesomeness level, it was over. Dude needs to find some songs where the slow part at the beginning is like 20 seconds of the song, as opposed to the 45 or so seconds it took to build last night.

Round Two goes to David Cook again, for obvious reasons.

Round Three: Producer's Choice
David A:
Sang another treacly ballad ("Longer", I believe it was called), but I really can't blame him for the song (like the judges did), because he didn't pick it. It was boring and unremarkable, but hey, that's David Archuletta. I did find it a little weird that the judges kept getting on his case about the bad song. I was like, hello? He didn't pick the song. Your stupid bosses did. (Possibly as revenge for screwing them on the "Beautiful Girls" deal?) Whatever, he was fine enough and Syesha was bad enough that we know it's going to be a David v. David showdown next week.
Syesha: Sang some weird upbeat song with a techno beat. She was shrill and hard to watch, but she looked like she was having fun. This was the song from the movie "Happy Feet" and Simon and Paula got into an argument about the content of the song. (Simon: "It's a song about penguins." Paula: "No, it's a song in a movie about penguins." Syesha: Waddles like a penguin onstage. Me: "I miss Jason.")
David C: Sang another rock song. It was good. Story of his life.

Round Three, and the night, goes to David Cook. I think he might actually win this thing.

Oh and you guys, I wasn't kidding when I said I miss Jason. I really do. His pot-addled brain provided some laughs, and when he was good (admittedly, those nights were getting fewer and far between), he was one of my favorites. His completely random and unprofessional interviews were possibly the highlight of this entire season. But now he's gone, and soon so will be Syesha.


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