What A Boneheaded Move

This is me giving "Bones" the middle finger. This wasn't just a bad episode. This was a bad episode that has ramifications for the rest of the series. Honestly, I am so frikin mad at that show for getting rid of one their best characters that I am still fuming a day later. That's right, the morons at "Bones" decided to make Zack Gormagon. Or rather, Gormagon's apprentice. This confusing anomaly was just one of many plot holes and huh? moments littering last night's episode.

Let's start at the beginning. So last week, Booth got shot. It was obvious to everyone that he was not going to die, yet they opened this episode with a strange Booth-faking-his-death scene that had nothing to do with the main plot of the episode. All it did was give Booth and Brennan more opportunity to snipe at each other because Brennan was not told Booth was alive. And then it was revealed that Sweets was supposed to tell Brennan that Booth was alive and people got mad and basically it was a giant waste of the first 10 minutes. I'm sorry, Hart Hanson, didn't you say that you had originally wanted to do a few more Gormagon episodes to wrap up the story? So why would you waste all this time on a stupid sub-plot that had no further repercussions. Yes, we get it, Booth and Bones are in denial about their feelings for each other. We don't need that slammed down our throats. The best Booth and Bones moments come from the natural chemistry between the two leads, not from all of this "ooh he wanting you to try pie means he's trying to seduce you" crap.

When they finally got around to being like, "oh it's actually a Gormagon episode guys," Booth and Bones were bickering, Sweets was moderating, and the other leads were like, "hey can we solve this mystery all ready?" So for the next 35 minutes or so, they all went around accusing each other and trying to find more "evidence." And I put evidence in quotation marks because there really wasn't a lot of it. So first Sweets thinks Hodgins is Gormagon. Then Cam thinks it's Sweets. So when they finally get around to accusing Zack, I almost didn't believe it. it didn't have the impact it should have. I mean, it's Zack, this should be a huge revelation. And it was, they just didn't play it like it. I have a zillion and one problems with Zack being Gormagon, starting with the fact that it's Zack. Why would they get rid of Eric Millegan? From what I've read, he didn't want to leave the show, they just did it to "shake things up." Which is stupid. As we've seen with "House" this season (which had an amazing season finale that I will get to in a second), when you change up the cast, bad things happen. You know what they say: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. One of the strongest things about "Bones" is its ensemble cast, and Zack is a huge part of that. He had a significant relationship with every one of the other characters, with the possible exception of Sweets (who really deals mostly with Booth and Brennan).

Also, making Zack Gormagon's apprentice doesn't make sense, chronologically or otherwise. he said in this episode that he was approached by "The Master" three months ago. But they said later that he killed the lobbyist, and that was way back in November (oh and that was not Zack in the closet, so minus continuity points there too). I understand how Zack's will could be overpowered-- even with all of his friends at work and his family back in Michigan, he was kind of a lost soul. But I cannot honestly see Zack killing someone. He works to catch murderers, doesn't killing people defy his strictly-adhered-to logic? I doubt that having Zack be the apprentice was the plan all along.

If they had to make Zack be the killer, it should have been revealed in a better way. The audience could have found out before the rest of the squints, or there could have been a dramatic showdown. Also, the repercussions of Zack going to Iraq at the end of last season were never gotten into. His time in Iraq would have helped explain his falling apart and joining this secret society, but no one mentioned that as a reason. It's so frustrating to see such a good show go to pieces. And I still maintain that it shouldn't have been Zack at all.

They should have just made the apprentice someone out in the world and written a more compelling episode surrounding them. Remember Howard Epps? Creepy as hell, provided a couple of great episodes, but was really just a random person. Making Zack the apprentice seems like kind of a cop-out, like they were too lazy to create another character and figure out a good story line in which he could be caught.

The end of the episode, where Gormagon (the master) was caught with Zack's directions and the rest of the team gathered in the lab to go through Zack's things, was the only semi-good thing about his episode. Booth telling Brennan that she gave Zack something great (his job) and Brennan putting her head on Booth's shoulder was sweet. But nothing, not even another Booth and Bones kiss, would have redeemed this episode. Hart Hanson has promised we have not seen the last of Zack, who has been sent to a mental institution, but will not say in what capacity we can expect him back.

"Bones" returns on August 26 with a two hour episode, sans the lovely Eric Millegan. Fox is premiering many of its episodes that week (a full month earlier than normal premier week). Guess what else is that week? That's right, the Democratic National Convention. Oh, Fox.

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